To Be Or Not To Be

always tot tat life 'll be easy in hall.. keeping a single rm 'll be easy 4 me.. but tings r getting abit unexpected...

nv in my life have i tot of running 4 the jcrc... but i dont mind joining 4 the experience of it.. n of cos 4 the pts.. it'll be super fake of me saying tat i join bcos i wan to try it out n do smthg 4 the hall.. tat's rubbish 4 me... to me, i believe in contributing to the blk cos it's the place i'm staying n it's the place where all my friens r.. but i tink i'm wrong.. there's not as many pple out there liking me as much as i tot... haa.. maybe it's my prob 4 having an attitude prob.. but i can force myself to smile n joke wif u when i seriously dont like u.. 4 wat? y shld i please u?? i dont tink i can get ani benefits frm it.. so wat if i get it?? i wont be happy.. i rather be truthful to myself n be unpopular.. so no more chief blk rap 4 me... i dont tink there's ani more tings in tis blk i'll miss... other than meiying (but u're leaving tis yr.. so i'll be all alone..), chewting (moving to a double rm wif her frien, so she might not be staying in hall 10), grace (i tink u have u're own friens... no pt being friens wif me when i tink most of the freshies gals hate me.. u deserve to be well-liked).. so there's no pt making contribution to 52... so it's settled... no more fun n laughter in 52 4 me... my life in 52 end on the dae when u, coward refused to step up n said u wan to run 4 chief blk rap... y cant u jus face urself n face the public, say wat u wan... stop asking someone to be ur messenger... he's not ur servant... he dont need to do tis kind of ting.. u stupid bitch...

seriously considering on the post to run 4 jcrc, but on a second thought... i tink i'm not capable enough.. n y do everyone have the impression tat i'm suitable 4 the post of welfare?? i dont tink i look like a housewife.. haa.. but seriously, i dont wan to compete wif the others... thanx meiying 4 ur encouragement... but i tink kaiyuen n albert will do a better job than me if they get the post... i dont wan to compete, 1st) i dont wan to face the fact of losing.. u noe i veri ai mian zi... 2nd) i seriously tink they'll do a better job than me... i dont wan to waste others' chances...

final decision 4 me, either to be in welfare or not more jcrc... i'm clueless n i tink i'll have a sleepless nite tinking abt it... shld i take my clsmates' advice n cut down on hall activities or shld i jus earn all my pts in hall to maintian my single rm... i need more advice... help!!!!